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12 January 2004 @ 07:37 pm
Redheaded Female user manual--First draft  
Shamelessly stolen from aithlyn, who got it from dragonbait

First of all, congratulations on your aquisition of a redhead! Follow these simple steps to ensure safety. May your user experience be an enjoyable one!

1. Provide with quality orgasms frequently. Failure to do so many result in hostility.

2. Keep out of direct sunlight unless SPF of 45 or greater is appied.

3. You like freckles. Think of something fun to say about them. Repeat as neccesary.

4. Should your redhead become uncooperative repeat step one.

5. Should step one fail approach with gifts, apology, and perhaps a sweet alcoholic beverage.

6. Take your redhead out to dance on tables and raise hell. Should you not be qualified, drop her off at a girlfriends house for this activity.

7. Be exciting and creative. Should you fail in this endeavor your redhead may become pouty. If in doubt refer directly to step number 1.

8. Compliment frequently in new ways. When in doubt repeat. Especially powerful in combination with step number 1.

9. Should your redhead become aggitated, take a moment to enjoy this. It is a feature! Repeat steps 1-8 and it should soon pass.

10. Should you find maintainance to be too difficult please return your redhead where someone else will be waiting for pick up.

I need to think of others...

-the redhead-
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Raphaelraphael96 on January 12th, 2004 08:46 pm (UTC)
Do lists like these actually work?

I may have to make one..

Raph
paradoxymoronparadoxymoron on January 13th, 2004 12:08 am (UTC)
heh. stole this from a friend of mine, who commented. I commented in it as well. It's fun!
thunderclod on January 13th, 2004 06:26 am (UTC)
Most people don't know which people can reliably provide good orgasms. They just date the cute rude ones and hope for the best (and rarely get it). Redheads know better. I swear they can smell good sex.