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15 February 2005 @ 12:02 pm
*nodsnodsnods*  
I consider myself polyamorous when single. Part of that, for me, is I don't expect to give up the warm, friendly fuck-buddy interactions I have should I find someone I want to have a relationship with.

However, if you view polyamory as purely behaviorial, then only people who are actively having multiple relationships are poly. Actually, this works well not for defining others (which is often in poor taste), but for defining oneself.

benndragon


-the redhead-
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Bill the bold bosthoonwcg on February 15th, 2005 07:56 pm (UTC)
Yep. Defining one's own self is just fine, and is a matter of personal choice and preference. That includes defining one's own self as "undefined." I'm no fan of Thomas Szas' line about "define yourself or be defined." because it's basically an invitation to the rude jerks of the world to toss labels at those of us who don't want to make targets of ourselves.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 17th, 2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
*nod*

-the redhead-
Skittenskitten on February 15th, 2005 09:29 pm (UTC)
I was under the impression that it's not about acting on the feelings...
It strikes me that being poly is being open to the idea of more than one relationship, whether you even feel you have one relationship to begin with....

Are you saying that it's only if you are actively *in* more than one relationship that you are poly?
-the redhead-theredhead on February 16th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
Obviously you misunderstood - the quote agrees with you view (and mine).

-the redhead-
Skittenskitten on February 16th, 2005 08:48 pm (UTC)
ah...
after re-reading it I can see your point.

wonder why anyone would even think that poly is a state of action rather than a state of mind? :)
-the redhead-theredhead on February 17th, 2005 10:41 pm (UTC)
Dunno, but they do. I've heard it directed to me more than once. There are a few other things I've heard along those lines, such as wanting a primary isn't poly (guess what sort of people I hear that from), and it always makes me wonder.

-the redhead-