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06 March 2005 @ 09:45 am
 
One of the things we had agreed on, that we had reaffirmed and decided specifically we would not do ever again was just dump everything because things were difficult at the moment, or said badly, or someone was tired or having a bad day, or whatever. Nothing just on the spur of the moment. We would always give whatever it was awhile to calm or be less immediate, to both give and take time to think about things, and we would *always* talk about it. This was important, knowing we had both been guilty of fleeing. It was to create some sense of security to nurture the love, to allow it to flourish, and to help get allay of some of the fear. To build a stronger foundation and allow the love and joy of the relationship to shine through too.

And that we would listen to what the other said with an open mind and really try to understand, so that things were said instead of being bottled up, so that we felt the freedom to speak.

We looked into each other's eyes with all that love and *promised* each other.

*sigh*

-the redhead-
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Bill the bold bosthoonwcg on March 6th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
Ouch.
-the redhead-theredhead on March 7th, 2005 01:04 am (UTC)
hmmm, seems like I need further lessons in using that LJ posting program, as I thought I had made this private. Happy face to the world, and all that.

Thanks for the thought.

-the redhead-
Bill the bold bosthoonwcg on March 7th, 2005 01:52 am (UTC)
I wondered if you'd intended that to be private. It's a hard thing to comment on, but it seemed so ... raw, I guess, that I felt some indication of commissiration couldn't hurt.

-the redhead-theredhead on March 7th, 2005 01:57 am (UTC)
Yeah, usually I'm better at sanitizing polishing up my public face.

Thanks again for the kind thoughts.

Hope you had a nice weekend.

-the redhead-
peaceful_foxpeaceful_fox on March 7th, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
I have recently had this same things happen to me too, unfortunately. I *thought* we had a good relationship. I thought we had talked things through. Nothing was to be done on the spur of the moment. I was wrong and it ended. He was a secondary (I hate the term, BTW) and both my primary and I were both hurt by the loss of this love. I was totally flummoxed. I felt like a rug was pulled out from under me. It was as if it was okay to communicate feelings *in theory* but not in real life. I am still trying to figure out what happened and to analyze the situation. I am sorry this happened to you. :-(