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23 October 2003 @ 04:25 pm
To be noted  
hellsop said ...or with whom hearing "Honey, work's sending me on a 3-year assignment on the other side of the country" and one's reaction is "When are we leaving?" rather than "Gee, we're really going to pile up the frequent flyer miles..."

Tim didn't do that for me. I had the best opportunity of my life, one that most people only dream of, a chance to make a better life for *both* of us.

Instead, alone I drove my stuff to New Haven - 2000 miles by myself in a UHaul truck.

Now I look back and see he didn't try very hard to find a job, he didn't start looking until a few weeks before it was time for me to be there, none of the positions offered were good enough, he'd have to spend too much time on the road, he was worth a bigger salary, yadda. I wonder if he ever really meant any of thing things he said to me about how it was important to support me and what a great opportunity it was. Or was it just all a lie of convenience? To get me to shut up? To go away?

He came to visit me *once* in a year and a half, for 12 hours one evening to early the next morning. Not even long enough to see anything of campus or meet my classmates or anything. Not long enough to see what my life was. I think about all we did was have dinner. Only because someone else paid for the plane ticket - he was out on business.

How could I have been so blind and so stupid?

Just another illustration of the folly of trusting or depending on anyone...

-the redhead-
Musings from the CZ unitcz_unit on October 23rd, 2003 03:51 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm sorry sweetie.

Ther have been many times in my life where I wish I had the ability to have a "do over". But I couldn't, and I had to build from where I was. Even at the times there was rubble to build on.

I will however say that you deserved way better than Tim. On a lot of fronts. And I know that you will find that there are better people out there than him. People that can be trusted, people that can be relied upon to come to you as much as you go to them. To give to you as you give to them.

People who care about you. For you, as you.

Ko'Shall Viperkoshall on October 24th, 2003 05:00 pm (UTC)
No... not true in the least... that only shows the folly of trusting or depending on Tim...

The rest of the world is quite thankfully not like him.