-the redhead- (theredhead) wrote,
-the redhead-

Redheaded Female user manual--First draft

Shamelessly stolen from aithlyn, who got it from dragonbait

First of all, congratulations on your aquisition of a redhead! Follow these simple steps to ensure safety. May your user experience be an enjoyable one!

1. Provide with quality orgasms frequently. Failure to do so many result in hostility.

2. Keep out of direct sunlight unless SPF of 45 or greater is appied.

3. You like freckles. Think of something fun to say about them. Repeat as neccesary.

4. Should your redhead become uncooperative repeat step one.

5. Should step one fail approach with gifts, apology, and perhaps a sweet alcoholic beverage.

6. Take your redhead out to dance on tables and raise hell. Should you not be qualified, drop her off at a girlfriends house for this activity.

7. Be exciting and creative. Should you fail in this endeavor your redhead may become pouty. If in doubt refer directly to step number 1.

8. Compliment frequently in new ways. When in doubt repeat. Especially powerful in combination with step number 1.

9. Should your redhead become aggitated, take a moment to enjoy this. It is a feature! Repeat steps 1-8 and it should soon pass.

10. Should you find maintainance to be too difficult please return your redhead where someone else will be waiting for pick up.

I need to think of others...

-the redhead-
Tags: humor, musings
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