-the redhead- (theredhead) wrote,
-the redhead-
theredhead

On being single…

Big discussion over at PMM about what being ‘single’ means. Several people want to argue semantics and have wordplay over the term so that they fit in, instead of acknowledging the true spirit of what being single means. I disagree with those who are in committed, primary relationships saying that because they date individually they are ‘single’. Those folks don’t begin to face the same issues...

Are you married (handfasted, domestic partnered, etc.)?

Is there a partner(s) you have to consult before you make a life decision (buy a house, buy a car, accept a new job, move across the country, etc.)?

Do you have life plans with a partner(s)?

If you have a long, bad day at work is there a partner(s) at home who can have some dinner waiting for you at 7 or 8 or 9 when you finally get home? Is there a partner(s) who will handle the daily things (like grocery shopping, making sure the bills get paid, cleaning, taking the garbage out, cooking, etc) if you are working 50 or 60 hours a week?

If you stumble on your life path (job problems, family problems, personal problems, health issues, etc.) do you have a partner(s)/support system there to carry some of the daily burdens and costs? The big burdens?

If you are ill is a partner(s) there to hold and soothe you when you are miserable and cannot sleep at 2 am?

Do you have daily companionship from a partner(s)? Is there someone(s) to ‘come home to’ at night?

Is there someone(s) in bed with you most nights?

These are some of the things that the singles don’t have or cannot count on.

There’s a big difference between being single and dating individually…

-the redhead-
Tags: poly
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