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23 February 2004 @ 06:59 am
Caveing  
-the redhead-: but I was still polite about it *rolls eyes*
cool girl: why. raise a stink its more fun
cool girl: and youd feel better
-the redhead-: eh - why waste the effort when I wasn't worth any?
cool girl: to make him realize how worthwhile you really are. i dont know. im just used to raising a stink with guys, but ive never been told i wasnt worth the effort. i have been told i was entirely too much trouble. which i am.
cool girl: why did he think you werent worth the time, thats pretty ridiculous
-the redhead-: there is no way to 'make' anyone realize how 'worthwhile' I am - it's subjective and in the eye of the beholder
cool girl: its silly any way. everyone is worth something to someone
-the redhead-: no, not always

-the redhead-
...retreats to the cave...
Tags: ,
 
 
 
Spam: monstermadbodger on February 23rd, 2004 06:25 am (UTC)
You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
If people just don't get it, the annoying truth is that you really can't do anything about it (cheesy movies aside).

This happens to me too periodically, and I beat myself up over it and wonder how to change the situation, even though my logical side knows darned well I can't.

Emotions suck sometimes, but I wouldn't trade 'em for the world.

-the redhead-theredhead on February 23rd, 2004 06:39 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Emotions are... detrimental and useless.

TRH
Musings from the CZ unitcz_unit on February 23rd, 2004 07:16 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Emotions and feelings are good things to have.

Chris
-the redhead-theredhead on February 23rd, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
No.

Better they are ignored.

-the redhead-
Musings from the CZ unitcz_unit on February 23rd, 2004 09:10 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
*higs*

Chris
Wolfteddywolf on February 23rd, 2004 12:35 pm (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Emotions can suck, yes, just like they can be good.

You can be alive while your emotions are frozen in ice; but with no emotions you aren't really living.

I've been in the ice. I've been the blank computer. I've been the machine. None of them helped me.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 23rd, 2004 01:27 pm (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
The negatives of having emotions and caring outweigh the positives, by far. Just because something nice happens once in a great while doesn't mean that all the smacks on the nose and the disappointments and the 'Oh, I'd really like to...' and 'Let's plan on...' and 'I'll see you...' with no effort at follow up were worth it. 'I'm too busy' doesn't cut it.

It's not about helping myself or not, it's about protecting myself. That is *the* most important thing, and no one else is going to do anything about it but me.

Pretty words and pretend planning and doing the occasional thing because it's just so easy and convenient, just a throw away sort of action, aren't any kind of effort.

No extra effort toward others and no expectations are the keys. My ogligations, responsibilities, and good will stop at the end of my nose. If people want anything more they have to prove themselves, they have to make efforts first. Until then polite is more than good enough on my part. And the second they stop making an effort or bail, so will I. Simple enough.

-the ice princess-
Wolfteddywolf on February 23rd, 2004 01:41 pm (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
One thing I learned, from being in ice, is that the ice doesn't really mean you don't feel. It means you always feel a low level ache. And a lot of people in the ice also project that ache onto others for motive.

Another problem with the ice is that it can stop you from giving people chances to show that yes, they do want to be a friend.

I won't say the ice doesn't have a purpose - if all you get is varying types of pain it can be damned useful for numbing it down.

I hope sometime you will allow me the opportunity to show that I'm more than words on a screen and possibly-empty sentiment. I do know that's partly based on circumstance and space and time.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 23rd, 2004 01:50 pm (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
You, as others, will be judged by your actual effort. Until then it's just platitudes.

-the redhead-
...been to Boston but apparently wasn't worth the effort...
Wolfteddywolf on February 23rd, 2004 02:40 pm (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Bear in mind that I respect you and do in fact like you, despite that last jab. I will say it's a two-way street. Both of us could have been better about communication - not just me, not just you. You also had both prior engagements and people with a higher priority that you spent time with. Again, I do not mind this, though I would have liked to have seen you.

And all that said, please do not confuse my fruitless efforts to try to meet you in Boston with a lack of effort.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 23rd, 2004 03:14 pm (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Did you come looking? I'm kind of hard to miss. Did you leave a message with the desk? Leaving one for Chris would have worked as well.

I *did* email you expressing my interest in meeting you, I *did* 'officially' clear time with my sweety for meeting you, I *did* stick my head into the filk room several times to no avail, I *did* ask Chris (and other people) to keep an eye out for you, I *did* rush over and practically monopolize your sweety for a few minutes, asked if you were about, and said more than once that I was hoping to meet you. I thought it very gracious of her when she offered to let you know *smile*

As for communication, I did email you. Since your were the person with obligations and a set schedule which had to accomodate many other, more important, people and things, I thought it polite to leave the time and such up to you. Knowing full well that you would probably not know when you had time until shortly before you did. Other than 1 event tht we planned to attend, my schedule was fluid. It's standard for the person with the overwheling number of scheduling restraints pick the time.

My efforts were further hampered by the fact that I knew only 1 person there, I didn't know your last name to be able to leave a message at the desk, and didn't know what you look like to be able to recognize you on sight. I did, over the course of the event, ask several people of your general description (of which there were many) if they were you. They weren't, tho they all seemed to be amused, thankfully.

-the redhead-
-the redhead-theredhead on February 27th, 2004 06:54 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
I hope sometime you will allow me the opportunity to show that I'm more than words on a screen and possibly-empty sentiment.

What do you mean by this? Really, honestly, what does this translate into?

-the redhead-
Wolfteddywolf on February 27th, 2004 07:37 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
It means, I would appreciate it if you allow me the opportunity to show that my actions do in fact back up my words.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 27th, 2004 07:42 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
But what does 'allow you the opportunity' *mean*?

-the redhead-
Wolfteddywolf on February 27th, 2004 08:44 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Well, um... it means you don't dismiss me without even a first chance.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 27th, 2004 08:50 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
That still doesn't answer my question about what you *mean* by 'I hope sometime you will allow me the opportunity to show that I'm more than words on a screen and possibly-empty sentiment.' What is the reality associated with that?

-the redhead-
Wolfteddywolf on February 27th, 2004 08:59 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
It means that, given certain frustrations you've expressed recently, I don't know if you consider me to be just some guy who writes empty platitudes or if you think I am presenting my real self, at least as well as anybody can present themselves in this medium.
-the redhead-theredhead on February 27th, 2004 09:08 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
I'm not asking what I think, I'm asking what you mean by the statement.

'I hope sometime you will allow me the opportunity...'? What does that mean in concrete terms? What is the reality? How is the former anything other than the words on the screen that we've exchanged today? What would I 'allow' and how is it supposed to be 'allowed'?

-the redhead-
Wolfteddywolf on February 29th, 2004 08:30 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
(apologies for the delay, I haven't been able to use the puter since Friday)

If I make it your area, or if you get to mine again, well, allowing for a face to face meeting?
-the redhead-theredhead on February 29th, 2004 08:47 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Ah. Well it's doubtful that I will go to Boston again, so do let me know if you are ever in my neck of the woods. A few minutes for a soda might be possible.

-the redhead-
Wolfteddywolf on February 29th, 2004 08:52 am (UTC)
Re: You can't 'make' anyone realize anything
Well it's doubtful that I will go to Boston again

That's too bad.

so do let me know if you are ever in my neck of the woods. A few minutes for a soda might be possible.

I shall keep you informed :)