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14 April 2004 @ 01:03 pm
Needs are not what they seem  
‘Personally, I don't think I "need" a partner in my life. I definitely don't "need" two or three. What I need is real, human relationships, whether with friends or SOs, who I can honestly relate to. I need to have people in my life who I can call up at 4am if I'm having a crisis, and know that they'll get some coffee into them and talk me through it. I need to have people who I can curl up on the couch with and talk to for hours, people who I can go for walks with. (Although I have to admit that my doggie is pretty damn good at both of those things..). Having a partner, or an SO, or whatever you want to call it, is more like a bonus to me.

The way I see it, I only want to start new intimate relationships when I'm already happy with my life, when I know I can be free to be with them, and not be needy or dependant on them. if I'm needy or dependant, or these days if I'm lonely, I'll curl up on the couch with my doggie and tell him my woes. He's a damn good listener, even if he is a lil smelly some of the time.”


This, I think, is the proper way to approach things. It will be a difficult foundation to internalize, but a very important one. I need to work on this.

Life must be real and I need to be completely independent and happy with myself before I should even consider letting others in past the foyer.

Someday all of these sorts of ramblings will coalesce internally and externally and I will be a worthwhile person again. I think I let my ex-husband damage me too much. No one to blame but myself.

I miss my doggies *sigh*

-the redhead-