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13 May 2004 @ 12:46 pm
And the other shoe drops  
So after emailing me asking if I had time to chat and telling me that his plans weren't finalized and that he *did* have time to talk after I pointed out that he was busy, turns out C*** has a date tonight. In other words, he might have a half an hour to chat or I can talk to him after his date late at night when he's exhausted again. Which boils down to the fact tht he DOESN"T HAVE THE FUCKING TIME.

Stupid me - I was looking forward to a chunk of time where we could talk and he didn't have to be dealing with the kids or have to go mow the lawn or should really be working or it isn't late at night for him. Time that he was going to devote to ME. Fopr several hours, where I wouldn't have to worry about being cut off for whatever reason and wasn't talking to a zombie.

So when I really needed someone to talk to this week, really *needed* it, both V**** and C*** ditch me. They wonder why I crawl back in my cave? They wonder why I insist on having the nice polite conversations with them? They wonder why when I try so hard to keep it on that level? They wonder why I don't believe what they say and don't trust them? It's becuase I get ditched when it isn't convenient for them or something more important or more fun comes up. Nah, I didn't need to talk to them - of course not. No, I didn't need the copy of my resume that V***** promised me a week ago. Of course I can live on the scraps.