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06 September 2004 @ 09:00 am
QotD from PMM  
Someone wrote 'How do you define love?'

My questions - What makes it up? What are important ingredients? How can you tell the real stuff, versus people who just want sex?

-the redhead-
Live, Love, Laugh and Be Happycamfangrrl on September 7th, 2004 10:04 am (UTC)
I think you can tell the "real stuff" is love when sacrifice is present. I know from my own life, and from observing hundreds of thousands of people's lives over the decades, that people who love each other are willing and ready to make personal sacrifices if it means the loved one will benefit. What was that O. Henry story? The Gift of the Magi? The watch and the comb? That's love. If someone is eager to sacrifice, and I mean really sacrifice, give up something that in an ideal world they'd never let go of, just so that I will smile and be happy with some consequence of the sacrifice, then I am loved. If I am willing to do the same, I am loving.

From what I've also seen, when people just want sex, they sacrifice nothing. All they'll give up under those circumstances are things which were a luxury for them in the first place, like time and money. A guy who gives up buying a new pair of desperately-needed shoes just so he can buy a bus ticket to visit you is someone who loves you. A guy who's looking to occupy an otherwise-boring weekend and hops on a plane to fly out to visit you isn't making a sacrifice and therefore may just be in it for the sex and not for love.
Phenimorephenimore on September 14th, 2004 08:48 am (UTC)
I have to agree with the pervious reply. Love is sacrifice. Love desires the very best for the other person and values their satisfaction in life above all other things.

The desire for sex is also significant but typically self-serving. Lust is based on momentary pleasure, temporary satisfaction, and the concept of happiness. While love seeks to accomplish mutual goals, long-term fufillment, and desires joy over happiness.

Just thought I'd jump right in and answer this. I wandered over from misterx's journal and I really liked the voice of your writing. You've been added to my reading list.