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24 March 2005 @ 10:46 am
Bad Choices & Hitting the Wall  
Food poisoning on Sat/Sun + donate blood Wed at 11:30 am + Advanced Reformer class at 5:30 pm = too much

I hit the wall last night – an unpleasant experience to be sure. I hung in through the entire hour class, but was in pretty sad shape shortly thereafter. Thank goodness for autopilot, as I don’t really remember the drive home. By the time I got in the house things got a bit spinny, my knees gave out, and I literally collapsed in my bedroom. I managed to crawl up into bed and was stuck there for the rest of the evening. Today is better, tho I’ve still been a bit shaky this morning.

I know that it was a stupid (!) choice on my part. I’ve been pushing myself way to hard physically and emotionally in just about every area of my life recently, and have especially been taking some hits at work for pushing for things that were/are important to me. And I try to grow within my arts as well.

But how can I not? All these things need to be done (or I want(ed) them to be done). Working long hours is a given (some sort of career advancement is vital), must hold my life together and do all those normal, daily things, Mom needs help, trying to plan for the future is important, I thought relationships need(ed) to be nurtured, I want to push myself in my art and achieve some goals there, gotta make sure I get some movement in every day, still have to cook and clean too.

Is it all worth it? Some days I wonder…

I am… unhappy that there is a wall (even tho that *is* reality), as I should be able to do all these things on any given day without a problem. The biggest question is how do I get happy, positive things in my life too? Or figure out how to do without.

I’ve cut the afternoon power walk from my schedule for the day and added another 87 gallons of water to my daily requirement – those should help short term. Gotta mend fences at work after all the DC crap and figure out a better way to accomplish all of the other necessary things.

-the redhead-
AdrianGadriang on March 25th, 2005 01:31 am (UTC)
I've been a semi-regular blood donor since high school. I've usually taken it easy, after donating, like they tell us to, but in college I had gotten so used to the idea that it didn't seem to affect me much that I let myself be talked into playing volley ball later on one day after donating. I played for just a little bit, and then I had to go sit down. I was laughing as I did so, because I realized what I had done, but still, I had to sit down.

It affects us more than we realize, sometimes.