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13 March 2003 @ 10:07 pm
Musing of a tired Redhead  
So, is it 'better' in some way to get to know someone intellectually before personally? *mind is wandering*

I asked this question of someone. Their response was 'the notions and such that are formed are probably a bit more accurate than the ones you might get with a physical first meeting.'

Why would this be?

*wonders why me in little black dress would be any different than me online*

-the redhead-

...packing, packing, packing...
Liquid Tension Movementperspicuity on March 13th, 2003 09:58 pm (UTC)
black dress or not, in person just seems more different than
virtual meetings...

in person meetings can be more intense [1], and fraught with limbic
system responses... it can be really wild and raw and amazing.
it can also be the other side. fight or flight. evolution and
the "right smell", the right gestures, the lizard brains chatting
at each other, and if there's a *click*... boom.
[1] generally speaking, biology is funny that way.

the intellectual meetings can also be intense, and are worthy
unto themselves. it's a different vector though, you can have
a "click" and a meeting of the minds, and levels of sharing that
transcend the physical. which is very nifty, and i think very
important, but by itself (for me) never seems to make a captial R
Relationship purely inevitable, possible, but not a sure thing.
it's the ... what's the word? the germ or tantalizing glimpse but
there has to be a buildup to voice and then face, eye, and touch time. that magical visceral thing. pure virtual doesn't do for me.

if both occur - well, wow - magic. if only one occurs...

i've oftened used the expression "if the person doesn't smell
right", well, that part is trickier. the gut reaction. i tend
to listen to my gut instincts a lot lately. it's harder to do
over the wire though. really, it comes down to communication,
and thought, in person or not, and just reaching out.

just by the by, from the little i've gathered about you, you're
rather interesting, and someone would have to be a fool to dismiss
you lightly out of their lives. cliche it may be, but their loss,
and damn them if it pains you.

eh, i'm babbling and probably missed the point somewhere.