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13 March 2003 @ 10:07 pm
Musing of a tired Redhead  
So, is it 'better' in some way to get to know someone intellectually before personally? *mind is wandering*

I asked this question of someone. Their response was 'the notions and such that are formed are probably a bit more accurate than the ones you might get with a physical first meeting.'

Why would this be?

*wonders why me in little black dress would be any different than me online*

-the redhead-

...packing, packing, packing...
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Paladinpaladin3 on March 14th, 2003 05:47 am (UTC)
I think the little black dress could cause sensory overload for most males of the species... :-)

I think it is better to get to know someone in real life...because you see the whole person instead of the illusion of one facet of them...

p3
-the redhead-theredhead on March 14th, 2003 07:19 am (UTC)
See above discussion *smile*

Comments? Rebuttal?

-the redhead-
Paladinpaladin3 on March 14th, 2003 11:49 am (UTC)
There seem to be several different opinions...but they do have about 3 repeating themes:

1. It's generally more comfortable to meet online
2. You miss out on many of the hidden personality elements
3. The transition to a real life relationship can be tricky

I'd agree with all of these. I'm much more comfortable online because I'm not young and purty and my eyes don't give away my thoughts. I once had a girlfriend's dad tell me I'm the kind of person who leads with my heart...I don't do dishonesty well although I try to be respectful of other's feelings. Online I can modulate much better because I have time (and can force breaks in time to occur when I need them)...in person, I can come off very emotional and very intense...whereas online I like to think I'm perceived a little less Patton-like. Also, it's hard to hide when I'm actually interested in someone - whereas online it's easier.

But all that augers for a real relationship. I know there are limits of time and space to keep me from meeting cool people like you...but if you want genuine bonding of friendship with someone...I think you have to see the twinkle of their eyes.

But that's just me. There are plenty of people I care about online that I've never met and never expect to meet...but it's hard to find warmth in typewritten words...

And don't EVEN get me started on online dating. Eeek!

p3