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13 March 2003 @ 10:07 pm
Musing of a tired Redhead  
So, is it 'better' in some way to get to know someone intellectually before personally? *mind is wandering*

I asked this question of someone. Their response was 'the notions and such that are formed are probably a bit more accurate than the ones you might get with a physical first meeting.'

Why would this be?

*wonders why me in little black dress would be any different than me online*

-the redhead-

...packing, packing, packing...
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.melanie on March 14th, 2003 07:41 am (UTC)
Part II

I know this isn't true of everyone. But the "me" that you see online is way more raw and unedited than my carefully composed "public face." And I tend to draw people who are likewise online. Those who are not tend to be taken aback by my candor and openness and they mostly drift away from me. The people I get to know through their words and thoughts before I ever get accustomed to their faces - when I do meet them, I mostly find that they are just as I expected them to be and we feel like we've been friends forever, in some ways. People I meet face-to-face, it tends to take a lot longer to break through the walls and get to the good stuff in there.

alt, who gets a lot of intimidated reactions, particularly when wearing her business suits.
-the redhead-theredhead on March 14th, 2003 08:12 am (UTC)
Re: Part II
Oh! *Good* point.

Public face.

And I think I am a lot like you. I'm very polite in person, almost to a fault. Too much Roman Catholic school and daddy was an AF Colonel.

As for the intimidation thing - people keep telling me that this happens but I really, really don't understand why. It's not like I'm 6 ft tall or a model or something. Stu told me this just the other evening when I asked him why I was the *only* one of that group of little girls (in a time long ago and far away) that he didn't date. I just cannot wrap my mind around him saying 'I was afraid of you'. I was nice, I was polite, I even have a sense of humour... *sigh*

Walls - walls are goodness *smile*

-the redhead-

...now has food for thought...
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.melanie on March 14th, 2003 08:35 am (UTC)
Re: Part II
so far i've only gotten a few points from people on why i might be intimidating.

1. the way i walk. i guess that's from the runway training. i do have a distinct way of walking, very assured and purposeful. had a boyfriend who affectionately called me "sarge" because of my no-nonsense way of getting from point a to point b with no dallying around, and he used to tease me about having such an aggressive but feminine walk. :p
2. the way i talk. don't know why, expect maybe for Dem Big Wurds and probably my smartass, cynical idea of funny. *shrug*
3. some people find it very upsetting that i *look* really innocent and as if i've led a terribly sheltered existence, but when i open my mouth an entirely different person seems to live in there. it's just too much contradiction for some people. *shrugs again*.

-the redhead-theredhead on March 14th, 2003 08:44 am (UTC)
Re: Part II
Dem Big Wurds


- Brains. Always been a problem *sigh* I tried being a bimbo once - tried really hard for about a year. It didn't work.

- The red hair. Com'on - redheads are just people like everyone else. I'm the most polite and well-behaved redhead around, generally. But it's like people are just waiting for an explosion of some sort. Stereotyping at it's best *snort* Did I mention that I'm polite and well-behaved and such in public? I really do have a sense of humor too. And I don't regularly eat people for lunch either...

I'm sure there are other things too.

-the redhead-

Liquid Tension Movementperspicuity on March 14th, 2003 08:24 am (UTC)
Re: Part II
hmmm, that's a good story!

i've also had that happen, 2 or 3 different online "personas" for different groups, contexts, and i was "talking" to the same person and in RL too, and we slowly grew to realize that we was the same two folx talking. it was pretty cool actually. "that was YOU? yay!"

walls and faces. interesting. i shall ponder.