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30 November 2005 @ 10:14 am
I said it 5 times last night  
I said it 5 times last night - 'I understand if you can't come like we planned'
He laughed
Want to make sure people understand me
I am totally prepared for plans to change for the holidays
He says I’m a priority, but I cannot allow myself to believe that, not really – I’ve learned that lesson over and over
Must be prepared to not care if plans have to change / are cancelled because - that’s the way it always is.
He does seem to notice when I move off some, and is too darned good at making me talk about myself. I blathered, not good. Conversations are always supposed to be about other people. Especially with what he’s got going on lately, my stuff isn’t important – must remember that. Must be the supportive person.
Can’t get hopes up about holidays. Not allowed to want that. Remember – words are just words and mostly people don’t mean what they say. Personal thoughts are best kept to one’s self, as people will generally hear only what they want to.

-the redhead-