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18 April 2003 @ 09:25 am
To be reviewed later  
Things in my head:

Space (that other people need), time (that other people need), plate too full, it can wait (can it?), proximate cause, drama, impact on other people, group dynamics, communication, respect, things need fixed (is it reasonable to try if it started with drama and people being upset?), new things need to be nurtured or they die, face time, uninterrupted time, words, distance, just be friends (?), how and why did things change (or did they?), expectations, effort, rules, accomodations, does it make me more happy than unhappy

Remember to eat today.
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Musings from the CZ unitcz_unit on April 18th, 2003 09:51 am (UTC)
Lot to think about...

eat something. *hug*

CZ
(also remembering to eat)
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.melanie on April 18th, 2003 10:01 am (UTC)
does the roommate unit come with a hug attachment?
-the redhead-theredhead on April 18th, 2003 11:09 am (UTC)
Yes, thankfully. Some of the other options don't work so well, but the hug attachment is the super deluxe model.

-the redhead-
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.melanie on April 18th, 2003 11:37 am (UTC)
thank goodness for small graces.
-the redhead-theredhead on April 23rd, 2003 08:48 am (UTC)
Well, life got easier I suppose. Most of this is a moot point. *frown*

How did things change? Several times over the last week and a half. For the better in the end? Dunno... At least I had 24 really nice hours. Maybe that's all I'm allocated per year. Is it a kindness to let the blind man see for a day?

What did happen anyways? Why was it so magic? I don't *do* things like that.

The being friends thing is going to be hard. Stressful. I will have to pay close attention to what I say. Lots of things are going to get stuffed into the little boxes. Need better locks. Is it worth it? I think so. I will *make* it work 'right'. I need to... reestablish my equilibrium. Lay some boundaries, some of which are for me. Take several steps back - maybe to just chitchat for a few months.

Can't say I'm not disappointed. Okay, that's a big fat lie - it goes far beyond that *sigh* But the gatekeeper said 'no'. End of discussion. So I need to think more about such situations. Could I ever be happy with such? To be in a place where I have *no* say at all? I'm not good at baring my throat.

And, as ever, I will stand by myself on my own to feet and I will be fine.

-the redhead-
-the redhead-theredhead on April 23rd, 2003 01:13 pm (UTC)
The being friends thing is going to be hard. Stressful. I will have to pay close attention to what I say. Lots of things are going to get stuffed into the little boxes. Need better locks. Is it worth it? I think so. I will *make* it work 'right'. I need to... reestablish my equilibrium. Lay some boundaries, some of which are for me. Take several steps back - maybe to just chitchat for a few months.

*sigh* I don't *want* to have to do this *frown* *fret*

I just want everything to be okay... At least like it was before *bangs head*

-the redhead-
Ko'Shall Viperkoshall on April 27th, 2003 09:37 pm (UTC)

"And, as ever, I will stand by myself on my own to feet and I will be fine."

Bah, you're never standing alone... I'm always standing here next to you, even if I am a couple states away.

*hugs*

As for other things, like why the magic, and such... good question. The way things happen sometimes. Interaction between people is odd, interesting, scary, exciting, annoying, and a whole bunch of other adjetives that I won't bore you with right now.

That weekend is what it is. What matters is that he's proven that he's not worthy of the greatness and splendor that is you. I'm just really sorry he had to do so in such a painful way.

*hugs tight*