-the redhead- (theredhead) wrote,
-the redhead-


\Trust\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Trusted; p. pr. & vb. n. Trusting. OE. trusten, trosten. trust, trost, Icel. traust confidence, security; akin to Dan. & Sw. tr["o]st comfort, consolation, Goth. trausti a convention, covenant, and E. true. See True, and cf. Tryst and Trust, n.]

1. To place confidence in; to rely on, to confide, or repose faith, in; as, we can not trust those who have deceived us.

2. To give credence to; to believe; to credit.

3. To hope confidently; to believe; -- usually with a phrase or infinitive clause as the object.

4. to show confidence in a person by intrusting (him) with something.

5. To commit, as to one's care; to intrust.

6. To give credit to; to sell to upon credit, or in confidence of future payment; as, merchants and manufacturers trust their customers annually with goods.

7. To risk; to venture confidently.

I've started to trust a bit again. Didn't mean to, it just snuck up on me. I suppose that's the way it works, really. Slowly, silently trust waits for an opportunity. Looking for the smallest chink in the armor to slip through. So subtle that it's not noticed until it's already taken hold and started to grow.

What is trust? Trust can be defined as one's willingness (or ability) to depend on another and allow them access beyond the public mask with some sense of security even though negative consequences are possible. While some may argue that it is an intentional state, I think a lot of it has to do with unconscious judgment as well. That 'gut feeling'. Trust is not solely rational by *any* means. That possibility of negative consequences is a risk, so it also has to do with how risk adverse a person is. Not to mention their general demeanor and levels of wariness. I envy those who possess dispositional trust and can sail through life with ease. I think that situational trust is the more realistic option, but different people have different views of the world. I'll admit to not being a very trusting person these days – get smacked enough times and even an old dog can learn new tricks... I always have a backup plan. And usually a plan C as well. I think that general distrust also serves as a protective mechanism. Not *active* distrust, by any means – that's a whole different type of emotion. I am referring to always being prepared for other's failures, being able to take care of one's self. Not constantly projecting mistrust and expectation of failure or hurt.

Trust as a learned behavior is yet another part of the discussion, but I will have to gather my thoughts on that. It does have a lot to do with being naturally reserved versus outgoing, I think.

Don't know that I necessarily want to trust anyone or anything other than myself. I certainly didn't intend for this to happen – I did not seek it or consciously allow it. Trust is a weakness, it gives people a hold over one. Grants the recipients power of a sort. Trust leads to needs and desires and even a bit of expectation. Having (Allowing? Giving?) trust willingly opens one's guard to things other than that which we can control directly. Some parts of me seem to want to trust, tho. Dunno quite what to make of that.

Scary stuff...

This rambling was brought on by the fact that I seem to have made 2 new friends in the last 6 months, C**** and V*******. I think that C**** and I have become far more than friends, actually *smile*, but that is the most important part. 2 new friends – I've gone *years* without making even 1 real friend, let alone 2. They are both the kind of people who are intelligent enough to keep up and with whom I can discuss almost anything. They are witty, interesting, and can be quite funny. Well read and well spoken. So I find myself looking forward to talking with them, wanting to learn more about them (and to let them behind the mask), wanting to share little tidbits and ask their opinions on things. And trusting them, a bit at least. Had one hiccup with C**** in the trust arena, but seem to have mostly fixed it. Still makes me nervous tho. New and interesting stuff. Will have to see where it goes.

-the redhead-

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
- George MacDonald

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship...
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Faith is... impractical. And trust is just an exercise in pain.
Tags: musings, quotes
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