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29 July 2003 @ 06:34 am
Sometimes it works  
The sleep thing. Sometimes it actually does work. So the question is what's the trick?

Being tired is certainly one thing. But not just tired from previously disturbed sleep, I think. I need to *make* myself tired other ways. Maybe I should powerwalk a few miles before bedtime. When I get another job I also think that I will be more tired too.

Fewer negative things will also help. I mean, we all need to cut the negative things out of our lives. But I can't be dealing with negative things right before bed, whether they be external or internal. Getting all wound up is counterproductive, because then I cannot shut my brain off. Perhaps I should assign the hour before sleep for reading or walking only.

Worries - always a biggie. *sigh* I think I have to let things be less important to me. Other than making some more $$, nothing should be so important, so crucial that I dwell on it. The intensity just needs to go into a box, along with the other things. In reality, this approach doesn't work very well, but at least for awhile I can fool myself. And perhaps things *will* become less important. I really *don't* need all of the things that I often think I do. A job to pay the bills, a place to sleep, and a couple of meals are the really important things. The rest is just fluff. Incidentals. Icing. I don't really need the cake, let alone the icing. I need to focus only on those things that are attainable. That are practical, instead of merely pipe dreams.

I think by making everything but the basics unimportant, it will give the demons less of an opportunity, less of a foothold. Because, after all, they are the demons that live in my own head. My doubts, my insecurities, my failures, my unmet dreams and unfulfilled desires. So they all just need to be less important. Who needs that kind of stuff anyways? I should just be happy with what I have.

Not worrying about what other people thing is another. Why should I bother? I mean, they are going to think what they do and I really cannot change that. Perhaps what I'm really getting at is that I shouldn;t worry about things I have no control over, which is a failing of mine as well. I try to fix things, to be better, to think that I can somehow influence things. Silly stuff.

Shutting the brain off is a tricky thing that rarely (!) happens. I need to find more ways to do this. Goes along with relaxing? Maybe a nightly soak in a hot tub will help at least slow it down a bit.

Things to ponder, questions to answer, morning ramblings.

-the redhead-
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Andrewmusicwolf on July 29th, 2003 02:02 pm (UTC)
Good luck...
-the redhead-theredhead on August 1st, 2003 07:45 am (UTC)
Thank you - I'm working on it.

-the redhead-